Page 440 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

voraciously breathed in the Occitan air saturated with "kind magic" and could not
believe that at last she came Home...

It was her native land, her future Light World which she promised Radomir to
build. And it was the land to which she brought her grief, like a lost child looking for
prtotection, sympathy and peace in his Mother...
Magdalena knew that in order to fulfill her promise to Radomir, she must be sure,
composed and strong. But at that time she lived locked in her deepest sorrow and was
dreadfully lonely…

Without Radomir, her life became empty, useless and bitter... He dwelt now
somewhere far away, in the unknown and marvellous World, which her soul could not
reach... But she missed him so much, in both human and womanly ways! Regrettably,
nobody could help her here.
We saw her again... Magdalena was sitting alone on a high precipice covered by
a carpet of wild flowers, her knees clasped to her chest... As had already become usual
for her, she saw off the sunset – another day spent without Radomir... She knew that
there would be very many of these days. And she also knew that she would have to get
used to it. Despite the infinite bitterness and emptiness, Magdalena was very well
aware of a long and complicated life waiting for her which she had to live alone...
without Radomir. She still failed to imagine that, because he lived everywhere – in
every cell of her body, in her dreams and vigils, in every object he had touched. It
seemed that the whole of the surrounding space was saturated with Radomir’s
presence... And there was no escape from that, even if she wished it…
The evening was still, soft and warm. Nature came back to life after the daily heat
and vigorously spread the smells of heated flowering meadows and pines... Magdalena
listened to the monotonous sounds of the forest world. It was surprisingly simple and
calm! Bees, worn out by the summer heat, buzzed loudly in nearby bushes. Even those
industrious creatures chose to retire from the burning daily rays as far as possible and
now joyfully absorbed the life-giving evening coolness. Feeling the human goodness,
a tiny coloured bird fearlessly sat down on Magalena’s warm shoulder and expressed
its gratitude with sonorous silvery warble...

But Magdalena did not notice it. She again sped away into the usual world of her
dreams where Radomir still lived... She again recalled him... His unbelievable
kindness... His exuberant thirst for Life... His light and tender smile and the piercing
gaze of his blue eyes... And his iron confidence in the rightness of the way he had
chosen. She remembered a wonderful, strong man who controlled the crowds whilst
being a child!

She remembered his caress and the warm loyalty of his big heart... All of this lived
now only in her memory, not yielding to time or going into oblivion. All of this was
alive and aching…. Sometimes it seemed to her that a little bit more and she would
stop breathing... But days passed and life went on too. The DUTY that Radomir had
left was incumbent upon her. Therefore she did her best to ignore her feelings and
wishes.
Her son, Svetodar, who she terribly missed, was in far away Spain together with
Radan. Magdalena knew that it was harder for him to bear it... He was still too young

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