Page 206 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

swallowing tears. Shining large peas streamed down her pale cheeks, making wet
tracks and dropped on her chest. – And Svetilo... How can that be? Tell me?! How!!!
It’s not a victory at all. It’s worse than a defeat! A victory should not cost such a price!

What could I tell her?! Like her, I was deeply hurt and felt terrible. The loss burned
my soul, leaving a deep bitterness in my memory, which still remembered them alive,
and imprinted this frightful moment in it forever... But I had to brace up somehow
because the frightened to death little children fearfully snuggled up to each other and
there was nobody who would calm them down or caress them in that terrible moment.
Therefore, I drove my pain inside as deeply as possible and warmly smiling to them,
asked what their names were. The children did not answer, but only snuggled up to
each other more strongly, understanding nothing of what was going on and where their
newly found friend with a very kind and warm name Svetilo had disappeared to so
quickly.
Stella sat, shrivelled up, on a stone quietly sobbing, wiped the bitter tears with
her fist. Her fragile shrinking body expressed her innermost sorrow. On looking at her,
grieving and so unlike my usual "light Stella", I suddenly felt cold and terrified, as if
the bright and sunny Stella’s world went out in the twinkling of an eye, and dark heart-
scraping emptiness surrounded us instead...

The usual Stella’s quick "coming to herself" did not work this time. Probably, it
was too painful to lose friends dear to her heart, especially knowing that no matter how
strongly she missed them later, she would never see them again. It was not an ordinary
death of the body, when we all get a great chance to be incarnated again. Their soul
died – that was exactly what had happened... And Stella knew that the brave girl Maria,
the "eternal warrior" Svetilo or even the scary-looking but kind Dean could never be
incarnated again, all having sacrificed their eternal life for other, probably very good
but, absolutely strangers to them, people.
My heart ached unbearably the same way as Stella’s, because it was the first time
I saw how brave and very kind people... my friends… went away into eternity of their
own free will. It seemed that the sorrow settled forever in my injured child's heart.
However, I already understood that no matter how strongly I suffered and wished,
nothing would bring them back. Stella was right
– one should not pay such a price for victory. But this was their own choice and we
had no right to deny them it. Regrettably, we had no chance and time to try to make
them change their mind... Well, the living have to live, otherwise this irreparable
sacrifice will be vain, which we should not allow under any circumstances.

– What shall we do with them? – Stella brokenly sighed and pointed at the
bunched up children. – We cannot leave them here.
Before I had time to open my mouth, I heard quiet and very sad voice:

– I shall stay with them, if, certainly, you will allow me.
We jumped and turned around. It was the man who Maria saved and about who
we had absolutely forgotten.
– How do you feel? – I asked as amiably as possible.

I honestly did not bear any ill will toward this unhappy stranger for whose

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