Page 220 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

weakness, dear... What is your name?

– Svetlana. – I wheezed, gradually coming to my senses. – And she is Stella. Why
do you call me a Darinia? It’s the second time I have been called this and I would like
to know very much what it means, if I may, of course.
– Don’t you know it?! – The girl-witch asked in surprise. I shook my head. –
Darinia means "giving light and guarding the world" and sometimes even rescuing it.

– Well, I must learn to save at least myself, let alone the world! – I sincerely
laughed. – And what can I give, if I don’t know anything yet, but only make mistakes...
I don’t know how to do anything! – And, on thinking a little, I added in an aggrieved
voice. – In fact nobody teaches me! Only my grandmother does it sometimes and
Stella. And I want to learn so much!
– The teacher comes when the student is READY to learn, dear. – The old man
said quietly, smiling. – And you have not understood yourself yet, even what you have
already opened a long time ago.
In order not to show how his words strongly disappointed me, I tried to change
the subject and asked the girl-witch the ticklish question which annoyingly spun in my
brain.

– Forgive my indiscretion, Anna, but how were you able to forget such horrible
pain? Is it possible to forget something like this at all?
– I did not forget, dear. I simply understood and accepted it... otherwise it would
be impossible to exist further. – The girl sadly shook her head.

– How is it possible to understand such a thing?! And what one should
understand in pain? – I did not give up. – Must it teach you something special?! I am
sorry, but I never believed in this kind of "study"! In my opinion only helpless
"teachers" use pain!
I boiled with indignation, unable to stop my scattering thoughts! And no matter
how hard I tried, I could not calm down.
I sincerely felt pity about the girl-witch, but at the same time I was itching to know
everything about her and that meant asking her a lot of questions which might hurt her.
It reminded me of the crocodile which, on devouring the unlucky victim, wept bitter
tears... However ashamed I was, I could not do anything with me. It was the first time
in my short life, when I paid almost no attention to the fact that I can hurt somebody
with my questions. I felt a burning shame for that, but I also understood that for some
reason it was extremely important for me to speak about all that. So, I continued to ask
"shutting my eyes to everything"... But to my great surprise and delight, the girl- witch
was not offended at all and calmly continued to answer my naive child's questions,

showing no displeasure whatsoever.
– I understood the reason for what had happened, and also that it probably was
my test, on passing which, I discovered the surprising world where my grand-dad and
I live now, and a lot of other things...
– Was it really necessary to go through such atrocity to get here?! – Stella was
horrified.

– I think, yes, although I can not say it for certain. Everybody has their own way...

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