Page 239 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

decision, of course... – And to my greatest surprise he added. – You can stay here till
evening. If you wish to read something, I think you’ll find here a lot of interesting
things. Call a bell, when you finish, and your maid will show the way back.

Caraffa was calm and reserved which showed his complete confidence in the
victory... He could not think even for a moment that I would turn down such an
"interesting" offer, especially being in a gridlock, which was the most intimidating,
because I was definitely going to say no to him. Only I had absolutely no idea how to
do it yet...
I looked around. The room impressed me immensely! Beginning with the hand-
made binding of the oldest books, the papyri and manuscripts on oxhide, to the latest
printed books, this library was a fount of the world’s wisdom, a real triumph of human
Thought!!! Probably it was the most valuable library which man has ever seen! I stood
absolutely stunned, charmed by thousands of volumes wich "talked" to me and could
not understand how those riches could go with the curses which the Inquisition so
fervently and "sincerely" poured on everything like them? In fact the real inquisitors
had to consider all these books the purest HERESY, exactly for which people were
burned and which were flatly forbidden as the most frightful crime against the Church!

How then did all these invaluable books which were burned in the squares to the
last page allegedly in the name of "expiation and purification of the soul" get into the
Pope’s basements?! It means that everything that the "fathers-inquisitors" said and
everything they did was just a terrible veiled LIE! And this pitiless lie was deeply and
firmly embedded in simple and open, naive and believing human hearts! Who would
have thought that there was time when I was absolutely sure that Church was sincere
in its faith! Because I thought that any faith, no matter how strange it seemed to be,
personified a sincere spirit and man’s faith in something pure and high, to which his
soul aimed in the name of salvation. I never was a "believer" because I always believed
exclusively in Knowledge. But I always respected other’s convictions, because I was
firmly convinced that a person had a right to choose where he should direct his fate,
and no stranger’s will should force him how to live his life. Now I clearly saw that I
had been wrong... The church lied, killed and raped, ignoring such a "trifle" as
wounded and distorted human souls...
However, no mater how carried away I was by what I had seen, it was time to go
back into reality which, unfortunately, was very far from bringing me anything of a
consolatory nature...

The Holy Father Giovanni Pietro Caraffa loved me! Oh, Gods, how strongly he
had to hate me for that!!! And how much stronger his hatred will be when he hears my
answer...
I could not understand this man, although previously I could read almost any
human soul like an open book. He was absolutely unforeseeable and it was impossible
to catch the superfine changes of his mood which could entail horrific consequences. I
did not know how much I would be able to endure and how long he intended to stand
me. My life fully depended on this fanatic and cruel Pope but I knew exactly only one
thing – I was not going to lie, which meant that I did not have too much life to live…

I was mistaken again.

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