Page 246 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

hung on the wall... My tormented soul howled, on seeing this sorrowful picture again.
But I was not going to show my tears to Caraffa, not for the world! Never!!! He was a
beast which adored the smell of blood... But this time it was blood very dear to me, and
I was not going to give yet greater pleasure to this predator. I did not mourn my darling
Girolamo before his eyes, hoping that I would have enough time for it, when he would
go away...

– Take it away! – Caraffa sharply ordered to the torturer pointing at the dead body.
– Wait!!! Don’t I have any right even to say goodbye to him?! – I exclaimed
indignantly. – Even church cannot refuse me that! Or rather exactly the church should
render mercy to me! Does not it call upon us to render mercy? Although, as far as I
see, we will never get mercy from the Holy Pope!

– The Church owes you nothing, Isidora. You are a witch and therefore its mercy
does not apply to you! – Caraffa pronounced very calmly. – Your weeping won’t help
your husband! You’d better go and think how to be more compliant, thus saving terrible
sufferings both for you and others.
He withdrew as if nothing happened, as if he had not just interrupted somebody's
precious life, as if his soul was in peace and quiet... If, certainly, he has one at all.
I was returned to my appartments without letting me pay the last tribute to my

dead husband. My heart froze in despair and sorrow, convulsively clinging to a
tiny hope that, maybe,
Girolamo was the first and last member of my unlucky family, who this monster in a
papal soutane
forced to suffer and took life from so easily. I knew that most likely I will not be able to
endure either my father’s death or Anna’s, especially hers. But I was even more
frightened by the fact that I understood – Caraffa knew it too... And I racked my brain,
making plans – each one more bizarre than the previous. Regrettably, the hope of
surviving, even if for a short period of time, in order to try to help my family melted
like smoke.

A week passed. Caraffa did not appear. Maybe he (like me!) needed time to think
over the next step, or maybe he was to see to other duties, in which I hardly believed.
Yes, he was a Pope... But at the same time he was an incredibly hazardous gambler
unable to skip an interesting party. And I think that the "cat-and-mouse" game he was
playing with me gave him immense pleasure.
Therefore I did my best to calm down and find in my exhausted head any "clever"
idea which would help me to concentrate on our unequal "war" which I could not win...
However, I was not going to give up, because I considered a "surrendered man" much
worse than a dead one. As I still was alive, I could fight, even if my soul was slowly
dying... I must last long enough to have time to destroy this mortally-dangerous viper
– Caraffa... Now I had no doubts that I could kill him as soon as a tiny opportunity
occured. The only problem was that I had not the slightest idea how to do that yet.
Judging from my recent experience, I could not kill him with my "usual" way. So I
would have to look for something different. Regrettably I had almost no time left for
this.

Also I thought about Girolamo all the time... He always was my warm protective

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