Page 199 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

– I always knew that you would be special, my Light one... – My father said very
seriously when I finished. – I am very proud of you. Can I help you in something?

I was so punch-drunk by his words that I suddenly started to sob violently. Dad
lulled me in his arms like a little child, quietly whispering something, and I was so
happy that he had understood me that I heard nothing. I only knew that all my hateful
"secrets" were behind and now everything would be all right.
I wrote about this birthday because it left an imprint of something very important
and very deep in my soul without which my story would be incomplete...

The next day everything again seemed ordinary and routine, as if an incredibly
happy birthday did not happen yesterday...
The usual school and domestic chores occupied almost the whole of my time and
the little bit that remained free was my favourite time, and I tried being very "thrifty"
using it in order to know as many useful and "unusual" things in me and the surrounding
world as possible...
Naturally, I was not allowed to see the "gifted" neighbourly boy. It was explained
to me that he got a cold, but as I knew later from his elder brother, the boy felt great
and obviously was ill only for me.

I was very sorry that his mother, who undoubtedly had gone along a "thorny" way
of the "unusual", categorically refused to receive my help and tried to protect her nice
and talented son from me in every way. But again it was only one of numerous bitter
and offensive moments of my life, when nobody needed the help I offered and I tried
to avoid such "moments" as assiduously as possible... Besides one cannot prove
anything to people, if they refuse to accept it. I never considered it correct to prove my
truth "with fire and sword" and therefore preferred to let it take its course until a person
would come and ask me to help.
I became a little estranged from my school girl-friends again, because lately they
spoke about one and the same things – what boys they liked most and how they could
"get hold" of one or another. Frankly speaking, I could not understand what it was that
so strongly attracted them so that they could pitilessly spend such valuable free time
on it and be in ecstasy over everything they said to each other or heard. Apparently, I
was not ready yet for the difficult "boys-girls" saga for some reason and therefore got
a wicked nickname "The arrogant one" from girls. Well, I think I never was arrogant.
The girls were simply enraged because I refused to take part in their "doings" for the
simple reason that I honestly was not interested in them and did not consider it wise to
waste my precious free time for nothing. Naturally my schoolfellows did not like my
behaviour at all, because it marked me out from the crowd again and made me different
from others, which in their opinion was "inhuman"...

This was how I spent my winter days – being half "rejected" by my school friends
which did not distress me at all, because, on having worried about our mutual
"relations" for several years, I saw that in the end there was no sense in that, because
everybody lived his life the way he considered right, and what would become of us later
was a personal matter. So, nobody could make me waste my "valuable" time on small
talk, when I preferred to use it reading interesting books, going for a walk to the "floors"
or riding Snow-storm on winter forest paths...

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