Page 295 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

different... I don’t know how to explain it to you more precisely, dear... I feel as if I can
embrace the whole world or easily fly far, far away, to the stars... Everything seems
possible, as if I can do everything I wish! It’s very difficult to convey in words... But
believe me, daughter, it’s wonderful! And there is more... I remember all my lives now!
I remember everything that once happened to me... All this is truly amazing! This
"other" life is not bad, I must say! Therefore, sweetheart, don’t be afraid if you have to
come here, we will all be waiting for you.

– Tell me, father... Do such people as Caraffa deserve to live this kind of wonderful
life there? It’s a terrible injustice, if this is the case! Will everything be like on Earth?!
Will he never be requited?!!
– Oh, no my dear. It’s not a place for people like Caraffa. I have heard that they
go to a terrible world, only I did not visit it yet. They say that those people get what
they deserve! I want to look, but did not have time yet. Don’t worry, daughter, he will
be punished accordingly when he gets here.

– Can you help me from there, father? – I asked with a hidden hope.
– I don’t know, dear... I have not understood this world yet. I am like a child taking
his first steps... I have to to "learn to walk" before I can give you an answer... Now I
must go. I am sorry, dear. First I must learn to live in both our worlds. And then I will
come to you more often. Stand firm Isidora and do not give in to Caraffa. He will get
what he deserves without fail, believe me.
My father’s voice gradually became fainter until it thinned and disappeared... My
soul calmed down. It was truly HE! And he lived again, only now in his posthumous
world which I did not know... But he thought and felt everything, even, as he just said,
far brighter than it was when he lived on Earth. I could no longer be afraid that I would
never hear from him... that he had left me forever...

But my female soul, nevertheless, mourned for him and for myself, being unable
to hug him when I felt lonely and to hide my anguish and fear on his broad chest,
longing for peace and protection... I grieved that his strong tender palm could not
stroke my tired head, as if telling me that everything would all right... I painfully missed
those small and seemingly insignificant, but so dear and purely "human" joys, and my
soul starved for them, unable to find peace. Yes, I was a warrior... but I was a woman
too. I was his only daughter who always knew that if something happened, even the
most terrible, my father would always be with me... I painfully missed all this...
I managed to shake off the sorrow that had swept over me and forced myself to
think about Caraffa, which always sobered me up and made me pull myself together,
because I perfectly understood that this "calmness" was just a temporary respite...

But to my greatest surprise Caraffa did not show up...
Days passed. My anxiety grew. I tried to explain somehow his absence, but
nothing serious came to my mind... I felt that he was preparing something, but could
not guess what. My exhausted nerves were strained to the limit. Therefore, in order not
to go mad from expectation, I began my everyday walks around the palace. I was not
forbidden to go out, but at the same time it was disapproved of. Nevertheless, I decided
to go out... despite somebody’s possible displeasure. The palace appeared to be
enormous and extraordinarily rich. The beauty of its rooms struck my imagination, but

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