Page 293 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

I turned from him and continued to look at the burning remains of what was my
tender wise father just a minute ago... I knew that he had gone and did not felt this
inhuman pain... that now he was very far away from us, speeding into the unknown
wonderful world where everything was quiet and well. But for me it was still his body
that was burning. It was his dear hands that hugged me when I was a child, calming
me down and protecting me from sorrows and troubles that were burning... It was his
eyes in which I loved to look very much, seeking his approval, which were burning... It
was still my dear kind father who I knew so well and loved so strongly... It was exactly
his body that the wicked and raging flames now devoured with hungry avidity...

People began to break up. This time they did not comprehend the execution,
because nobody told them who the condemned man was and what the guilt he died for
was. And the man behaved pretty strangely. Usually people screamed terribly, until
their heart stopped from pain. This one was silent even when the flame devoured him...
Well, as is generally known, any crowd does not like the incomprehensible. Therefore
many preferred to leave the square, but the Papal guardsmen returned them, forcing
them to watch the execution to the end. The crowd began to grumble with
dissatisfaction... Carraffa’s people took me and by force shoved me into another
carriage with "His Holiness" the Pope inside... He was very angry.
– I knew that he would "go away"! Let’s go! There is nothing to do here.

– For goodness' sake! I have the right to see it to the end! – I was indignant.
– Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Isidora! – The Pope waved with irritation. – You
perfectly know that he is not there! It’s just a piece of dead meat that is burning. Let’s
be off!
The heavy carriage left the square, preventing me from watching how the earthly
body of the guiltless executed wonderful man – my father – was burning all alone... He
was just a "piece of dead meat" for Caraffa, as the "holiest father" had just said... My
hair stood on end when I heard such a comparison. Even Caraffa should have an
atrocity limit! But apparently, this monster has no limit in anything...

The frightful day came to an end. I sat at the open window, feeling and hearing
nothing. The world was frozen and joyless. It seemed that it existed separately, not
penetrating into my tired brain or somehow touching me... As usual the indefatigable
"Roman" sparrows played and chirped on the window-sill. Human voices and the
ordinary daily noise of a bustling city sounded below. But all this came to me through
a very dense "wall" which almost did not let sounds in... My usual inner world had
become empty and deaf. It became absolutely alien and dark. My darling tender father
did not exist. He went away right after Girolamo.
But I still had Anna. And I knew that I must live to save at least her from the
refined killer which called himself the "deputy of God" and the saintliest Pope... It was
hard to imagine that, if Caraffa was just His "deputy", then what a beast his beloved
God had to be?! I tried to come out of the "frozen" state, but apparently it was not so
simple a task. My body did not obey, refusing to revive and my tired Soul longed for
peace... On seeing that nothing was turning out right, I decided to leave me alone,

letting everything run itself.
I left all thoughts and decisions and "flew" away where my wounded Soul aimed

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