Page 189 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

affectionately smiled. – Because it had been like this before you were born, before
that it was extraordinarily bright, beautiful and rich! It was truly heartfelt... Sometimes
I have no wish to write whatsoever. – He fell silent for a few seconds, thinking of
something and then added indignantly. – How can I express my self, if they send me
a list (!) with words that can be used and those which cannot, which are a "vestige of
the bourgeois system"... It’s a complete absurdity...

– Then what? Is it better to study on my own than go to school? – Puzzled I asked.
– No, my little one, you should go to school. – And giving me no chance to object,
he continued. – School gives you "grains" of your foundation – mathematics,
physics, chemistry, biology etc, which I would simply not have time to teach you at
home. Unfortunately you will be unable to grow your "mental harvest" without these
"grains". – Dad smiled. – Only at first you will have to "sift" these "seeds" very
diligently to separate husk and rotten seed. And the quality of the "harvest" you have
in the end will depend entirely on you. Life is a difficult thing, you see. Sometimes it’s
very difficult to remain on the surface without sinking to the bottom. But there is no
other way, right? – Dad tousled my hair again. He was sad for some reason. – So, you
can choose: whether to be one of those who are told how you should live or be one of
those who think independently and search their way... It is true that they constanly
get hit on the head, but in return they always will hold it proudly erect. So, you should
think pretty hard before you decide what you like more...

– Why then when I say at school what I think, the teacher calls me a parvenu?
It’s so offensive! I never try to be the first to answer, on the contrary – I prefer when I
am left alone... But if I am asked, I must answer, right? For some reason they don’t like
my answers very often... What should I do, dad?
– Well it’s the same question again – do you want to be yourself or do you want
to say what you are required and live calmly? You must choose again... They don’t
like your answers because they don’t always coincide with those that they have
already prepared and are always identical for all.
– How is that – identical? I cannot think the way they want. People cannot think
in one and the same way!

– You are wrong, my Light one. It’s exactly what they want – that we all think
and act identically.
– But it’s wrong, dad! – I was indignant

– Look at your school friends more attentively. How often do they say what is not
written? – I was confused... he was again right. – It happens because their parents teach
them to be just exemplary and obedient students and get good marks. But they don’t
teach them to think... maybe, because they did not think either... or maybe because
fear has already absorbed them... So, stir your brain, my Light one, to find on your own
what is most important to you – your marks or your own thinking.
– Is it really possible to be afraid of thinking, dad? In fact nobody hears our
thoughts. Why be afraid then?
– Well, they certainly won’t hear... But every mature thought forms your
consciousness, my Light one, and when your thoughts change, then you change too...

If you have correct thoughts, they can displease somebody very much. You see, far
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