Page 43 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

it on the auxilliary table next to him.

– In case of an unforeseen failure, – he warmly smiled, – Well, shall we?
For a second all this seemed to me a wild endeavour, and I suddenly wanted very
much to be like everybody else – a normal, obedient nine-year old girl, who closed
her eyes, just because she was terribly afraid. And I truly was afraid, but to retreat was
not my habit and therefore I proudly nodded and prepared to observe. Only after many
years did I understand what this nice doctor risked in reality. I never knew why he did
it. It forever remained a secret "sealed with seven seals". But then everything seemed
quite normal and, honestly speaking, I did not have time to be surprised.

The operation began, and I somehow calmed down at once, as if the knowledge
that everything will be all right came on me out of somewhere. Now I don’t remember
all the minor details, but I remember very well how shocked I was on seeing "that"
which had mercilessly tormented me and my mother for so many years when we
caught the slightest cold or got overheated. It was two grey, terribly puckery lumps of
matter which did not even look like normal human flesh! Probably, on seeing such
"ugly things" my eyes became like saucers, because the doctor broke into laughter
and merrily said:
– As you see, things extracted from us cannot always be beautiful!
The operation was done in a few minutes and I could not believe that everything
was over. My brave doctor nicely smiled, wiping his sweaty face. He looked for some
reason like a "squeezed lemon". Apparently, my strange experiment was at a price for
him.

– Well, little hero, still don't feel pain? – He asked, attentively looking into my
eyes.
– I just have a tickle in my throat, – I answered, and that was the sincere and
absolute truth.

My mum was very upset and waiting for me in the corridor. It appeared that there
were unforeseen problems at work, and no matter how hard she tried to get permission
to be absent, the head would not give it. I tried to calm her, but it was the doctor who
had to tell her about everything, because I still found it difficult to speak. After these
two cases the "self-anaesthetic effect" disappeared and never returned.

The neighbour
As far as I can remember, human attributes like the thirst for life and ability to

find joy even in the most hopeless or sad situation always attracted me. In short, I
always loved the "strong in spirit" people. Our young neighbour, Leocadia, became
the real example of "survival" for me then. My impressionable child's soul was
staggered by her courage and truly ineradicable desire to live. Leocadia was my light
idol and the greatest example of how high a human being could rise over any
physical ailment preventing it from destroying either their personality or life.
Some illnesses are curable, and only patience is needed whilst waiting for that
to eventually happen. The effect of Leocadia's accident was doomed to be with her
for the rest of her life and, regrettably, there was not the slightest hope for this brave

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