Page 167 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

feeling terribly sorry. –But thank you so much for your help.

Stella shone. She adored the feeling of being necessary; therefore, I always tried
to show her that she meant a lot to me (which was absolutely true).
– All right, we will go somewhere else some other time. – She consented
complacently.

I think that she was also "worn a bit thin", but like always, she tried not to show
it. I waved in farewell... and appeared at home, on my favourite sofa with a pile of
impressions which now I had to comprehend and "digest" slowly and unhurriedly...

Parents
By the age of ten I had become very attached to my father. I always adored him.
Regrettably he had to move around very often in my early years and was at home too
seldom. Any infrequent day which I succeeded in spending with him turned out to be
an important occasion for me which I remembered for a long time and garnered every
grain from every word he said, trying to keep them in my heart like a precious gift.

From my early years I always had the impression that I had to deserve dad’s
attention. I don’t know where it came from and why. Nobody ever prohibited me from
seeing him and talking to him. On the contrary my mother always tried not to interfere,
if she saw us together, and my dad was always very pleased to spend his spare time
with me. We went together to the forest, planted the strawberry bed in our garden,
bathed in the river or simply talked, sitting under our favourite old apple-tree, which I
liked to do most of all. My dad was a magnificent interlocutor, and I was ready to listen
to him for hours. Most likely it was his strict attitude toward life, the way he established
his priorities and his never changing habit of not getting anything gratis that gave me
the impression that I must deserve him too…

Back to content

166