Page 129 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

my "emotionally-indignant" speech, was surprised.

– I have not found him yet... But if he really exists, then he must be kind. But
for some reason many people are afraid of him or threaten others in his name. They
say in our school: "Man - stands proud"! How can a person be proud, if fear hangs
over him all the time?! Besides, there are too many different Gods. Every country
has its own. And everybody tries to prove that their God is the best... No, I don’t
understand a lot of things yet... But how can one believe in something without
understanding? We are taught at our school that there is nothing after death. But
how can I believe it, if I see quite another thing? I think that blind faith simply kills
hope in people and increases fear. If they knew what happens in reality, they would
behave a lot more cautiously. It would not be all the same to them what happens
after their death. They would know that they will live again, and they will have to pay
for how they lived their life. The only thing is that they will not answer to a
"threatening God", of course, but to themselves. And nobody will come to redeem
their sins, but they have to do that on their own. I wanted to tell about that, but
nobody wanted to listen to me, probably, because life is much more comfortable and
simpler without this knowledge. – At last I finished my "terribly long" speech.
Suddenly I became very sad. This man somehow made me talk about things that
never left me in peace since the day I first "touched" the world of the dead, and naively
I thought that I just needed to tell to people what I know and "they would believe at
once and even rejoice! And of course, would want to do only good." What a naive
child one has to be to engender such a foolish and unrealizable dream in one’s heart?!
People hate to know that there is something else "there", after their death. Because
if they admit it, it will mean that they will have to answer for everything they have
done, and this is exactly what nobody wants to do. People are like children. They are
sure for some reason that if they close their eyes and see nothing, then nothing bad
will happen to them... or if they shift everything onto their God’s strong shoulders,
which "redeemed" all their sins, everything will be all right... But is it true and right?
I was just a ten-year-old girl, but a lot of things already could not find their place
within my simple "child's" logical scope then. For example, the book about God (the
Bible) told that pride is a tremendous sin, but the Christ (son of man!!!) said that he
would redeem "all human sins" with his death... What Pride one must have to put

oneself on the same footing as the whole of humanity?! And what kind of man would
be so bold as to think of himself in this way: God’s Son or man’s son? Let’s take
churches: each one is more beautiful than the last, as if ancient architects tried to do
their best to outdo each other in building their God’s house. Yes, it’s true – the
churches are incredibly beautiful. They look like museums. Each is a real work of art.
But, if I got it right, man goes to church to speak to God, doesn’t he?
In that case, how can he possibly find Him in the shocking luxury that strikes
the eye with its abundance of gold, which, let’s take me for example, did not dispose
me to open my heart at all, on the contrary – I shut it as quickly as possible in order
not to see the brutally tortured bleeding God, almost nude, crucified in the middle of
the glittering and oppressing gold, as if people celebrated His death, but did not
believe or rejoice in His life... We plant fresh flowers even on our cemeteries in order
that they remind us of the life of the dead. So why I did not see a statue of a living

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