Page 127 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

latter I always adored... How is it possible to compare them to ordinary killers?

He gave me a long and sad look and then quietly answered:
– I don’t know, dear. The fact that I am here means that the guilt is identical. But
judging on how I feel this guilt in my heart, it’s not. I never wished to kill, I simply
protected my land; I was a hero there. And here it appeared that I just killed... Can it
be fair, really? I think – not.

– So, you were a warrior? – I asked with hope. – But then, the difference should
be huge – you protected your home, family and children! And you don’t look like a
killer.
– Well, dear. None of us are truly as others see us; because they see only what
they want to see or only what we want to show them. And as to the war, at first I
thought the same way as you and even was proud of my deeds. And here it appears
that there was nothing to be proud of. Murder is murder, and it’s not important the
way it was accomplished.
– But this is wrong! – I was indignant. – How can a maniac-killer turn out to be
the same as a hero?! It can not be; it must not be!

My whole self raged in indignation! But the man dolefully looked at me with his
sad grey eyes in which I read understanding...
– Both a hero and killer take life. Probably, there are "extenuating
circumstances", because a person who protects somebody else takes life being guided
by a noble and just reason. But one way or another, they both have to pay for it...
very bitterly, believe me.

– May I ask you, when did you live? – I asked, being slightly confused.
– Oh, it was quite long time ago. I am here for the second time already. For
some reason my two lives were alike – I militated for somebody in both... and then
paid... always bitterly... – The stranger fell silent for a long time, as if not wishing to
talk about it anymore, but then continued quietly. – There are people who like to
militate. I always hated it. But for some reason life returned me to the same circle for
the second time, as if I was deliberately put into this exclusive circle without any
possibility of being freed from it. When I lived, all people fought inter se. One
occupied others’ lands, the latter protected their possessions. Sons overturned fathers,
brothers killed brothers... Many terrible things happened. Some people performed
unthinkable exploits; some betrayed others and some were simply cowards. But
nobody even suspected what a bitter price they would have to pay for everything they
did.
– Did you have family there? – I asked to change the subject. – Were there

children?
– Certainly! But it was so long ago! They once became great-grandfathers, died
then... And some live again. It was a long time ago...
– And you are still here?! – I whispered looking around in horror.

I could not even imagine that he’d been living there for many, many years,
suffering and "paying" for his guilt, without the slightest hope of leaving this horrific
"floor" before the time comes to return to the physical Earth! And once there he will

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