Page 35 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

I felt such pity for him and was so ashamed, that I rushed to pick him up with an
enormous sense of guilt. But for some reason the cat's hair bristled up and he ran away
from me full pelt meowing loudly, as if scalded with boiling water.

It was quite a shock for me. I did not understand what had happened and why
Grishka suddenly disliked me so violently, we had been such very good friends
before. I chased after him almost all day long, but, regrettably, I failed to get his
forgiveness. Grishka's strange behaviour lasted four days, and then our adventure was
forgotten, and all was well again, but nevertheless it made me reflect upon it and I
now understood that sometimes I could do harm with my unusual "abilities" even
without wishing it.
After this event I began treat everything that unexpectedly manifested in me with
more seriousness and "experimented" much more carefully. Of course, in the
following days I became obsessed with the idea of moving things. I tried to move
mentally everything that caught my eye and sometimes got deplorable results.

For example, I watched in horror how the shelves, neatly set with dad's very
expensive books, fell down on the floor and I tried to put everything back with my
shaky hands as quickly as possible because books were "sacred" objects in our house
and before I could take them, I must deserve them. Fortunately, my dad was not at
home then and "the storm passed" this time.
Another very funny and at the same time sad event happened with dad's
aquarium. As far back as I can remember, my father was always keen on fish and
dreamed that one fine day he would construct a large aquarium (which later he did);
but then we had only a goldfish bowl with a few multicoloured fish in it. But even
such small "piece of nature" gave joy to my dad's heart and everybody, incuding me,
looked after it with great pleasure.
One "ill-fated" day, when I passed by my dad's aquarium, being extremely busy
with my "moving" thoughts, I accidentally looked at the fish and felt sorry that the
poor things had such a little place to live in. The bowl suddenly began to vibrate and
burst to my great horror, pouring water all over the room. Before the poor fish had
time to be scared, our cat, being extremely happy about such a sudden stroke of luck
right out of the blue, ate them. I felt truly sad, because I did not want to distress my
dad, even less to take somebody's tiny life.

That evening I waited for my dad in a very poor state – I was ashamed of my
foolish blunder and although I knew that nobody would punish me for it, I was sick
at heart. I gradually came to understand that some of my "talents" could be very unsafe
in certain circumstances, but unfortunately, I did not know how to control them and
was anxious more and more because some of my actions could be quite unforeseeable
and possibly have unintended and undesirable consequences.
But I was only a curious nine-year old girl then and could not be upset for long
because of lost fishes, even though it had been my fault. I zealously continued to
move all objects I saw and was unspeakably glad of any unusual manifestation in my
"research" practice.

Thus, one wonderful morning during breakfast my cup unexpectedly hung in the
air right in front of me and continued to do so, and I had no idea how to let it down.

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