Page 68 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

to walk very much, and it never caused any inconvenience to me, but I did not like
this new district, because all the houses were like match boxes – identical and faceless.
Besides, because the place had only just begun to be built on, there was not a single
tree or any other "greenery", and it looked very much like a stone and asphalt model
of an ugly and unreal town. Everything was cold and soulless, and I always felt very
uncomfortable – it seemed to me that I lacked air there…

Besides, it was almost impossible to find the number of a house, even if one
wished to very much. For example, I was between houses № 2 and № 26 and did not
understand how that could be, guessing where my "disappeared" house № 12 was?
There was no logic in it whatsoever, and I could not understand how somebody can
live in such chaos. But I was helped and at last succeeded in finding the house I
needed. So, I finally stood in front of the closed door, wondering how an absolutely
unknown man would meet me.
I met many people I never knew this way, which always required huge nervous
tension on my part. I never felt comfortable, breaking into somebody’s private life,
therefore each "excursion" like this always seemed to me a little mad. Also I perfectly
understood how bizzare it must sound to those who had just lost a dear person and a
little girl suddenly intruded in their life and declared that she could help them to talk
to a dead wife, sister, son, mother or father. Admit it; they should have considered it
absolutely and totally abnormal! To tell the truth, I cannot understand even now, why
did all these people listen to me at all?

So, now I stood in front of a stranger’s door, hesitating to call and having
absolutely no idea what awaited me behind it. But I thought about Christina and Vesta
and mentally scolded myself for cowardice. I forced myself to raise my trembling
hand and push the button…
Nobody answered for very long time. I already was going to leave as the door
suddenly swung open with a jerk and a young man appeared on the threshold. He was
undoubtedly very hansome in the past, but now he, regrettably, produced a rather
unpleasant impression, because he was absolutely drunk.

I became scared and my first thought was to go away as quickly as possible. But
next to me I felt the raging emotions of two very disturbed spirits which were ready
to sacrifice heaven knows what in order that this drunk and unhappy, but so dear and
beloved man, could at last hear them, if only for a minute…
– What do you want? – He began aggressively enough.

He was truly drunk as a skunk and all the time swayed from side to aside,
obviously having difficulty being steady on his legs. Here I understood what Vesta’s
words about her daddy being "not real" meant! Apparently, when the girl saw him in
this state, which did not remind her of her daddy who she had known and loved for
all her short life, she called him "not real".
– Please, don’t be afraid of him. – Her voice sounded in my head, as if she felt
what I was thinking about at that moment. It forced me to brace up and speak.
– I would like to talk to you. – I said soothingly. – May I come in?

– What for? – Almost maliciously, the man asked.

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