Page 156 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

for a very long time, if you wanted to ask that.

– What do you do here? And why did you come? – I could not stop asking.
– We help when it is necessary. I don’t remember where we came from – I’ve
never been there. I just saw, like you do now... This is my home.

Suddenly the girl became very sad. I wanted to help her somehow, but, to my huge
regret, I was unable to do that then...
– You want to go home very much, don’t you? – I asked carefully.
Vaya nodded. Her fragile frame suddenly flared... and I was alone – the "star" girl
had disappeared. It was very unfair! She could not simply go away!!! That should not
happen! The real offence of a child, whose favourite toy was suddenly taken away,
raged within me. But Vaya was not a toy and, frankly speaking, I should be grateful to
her that she came to visit me at all. Well, the "emotional storm" destroyed the last grains
of logic in my "suffering" heart then and total confusion reigned in my head. Therefore,
there was no way to switch on my "logical thinking" and I was "broken-hearted"
because of the frightful loss and "dived" deeply into an ocean of "black despair"
thinking that my "star" guest would never come back to me. I wanted to ask her about
so many things! But she disappeared so unexpectedly. Suddenly I felt shame. If all who
felt the necessity could ask her as many questions as I wanted to, then she just would
not have time to live! This idea somehow calmed me down. I should simply accept all
the wonderful things she had shown me (even if I still did not understand them all) with
gratitude and not moan and groan about not being provided with "everything" instead
of stirring my becoming lazy brain and finding answers to the questions which had so
tormented me. I remembered Stella’s grandmother and thought that she had been
absolutely right speaking about the harm of receiving of something for free, because
the worst thing that ever exists is a person accustomed only to taking. Moreover, no
matter how much he takes, he can never feel the joy and satisfaction of achieving
and creating anything personally.

I sat alone for a long time slowly "digesting" the information, thinking with
gratitude about the wonderful "star" girl with the violet eyes. I smiled knowing that
now I would not stop and rest until I knew what those friends whom I did not know yet
were, and from what sleep they would awaken me. Then, I could not imagine that no
matter how hard I tried and did my best, it would happen over many, many years and,
yes, my "friends" would wake me... But that would be an absolutely different thing
from what I could surmise then.
But then everything seemed to me possible and I, burning with fervent ardour and
having "iron" persistence, decided to try.

No matter how much I wanted to listen to the reasonable voice of logic, my
disobedient brain believed that in spite of the fact that Vaya obviously knew exactly what
she was talking about, I would gain my ends and find those people (or creatures) who
should help me to be rid of some incomprehensible "bear hibernation" long before it was
promised to me. The first thing I decided to do was to try going beyond the limits of the
Earth and see who would come to me there. Certainly, this was the most foolish thing one
could think of, but as I strongly believed that I could achieve something anyway, I had to
"dive" into new, possibly very dangerous, "experiments".

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