Page 74 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

only for a fraction of a second. Regrettably, his brain could not endure such a huge
load and became firmly "shut down" isolating him from his wife and daughter’s
world, thus preventing their communication.

Arthur neither begged for help nor was indignant... To my enormous relief, he
accepted those crumbs which life could give to him today with surprising calmness
and gratitude. Obviously, the "squall" of both positive and negative emotions totally
emptied his poor, exhausted heart, and now he could only patiently wait, hoping that
I would have something to offer him.
They talked for a long time, even making me cry, despite the fact that I thought
I had got used to something like that, if, certainly, one can get used to this at all...

In approximately an hour I felt like a squeezed lemon and began to worry a little,
thinking about returning home, but did not dare to stop this meeting, which had
already become much happier, but regrettably doomed to be the last one. Very many
who I tried to help this way pleaded with me to come again, but I refused. Not because
I did not pity them, but because there were so many of them and I was one,
unfortunately. Besides I had to live my own life which I adored and always dreamed
of living as fully and interestingly as possible.
Therefore, no matter how I pitied them, I always gave myself to a person for only
one meeting in order that he had the opportunity to change (or at least to try) that
which he or she would like very much to change but usually had not the slightest
hope of doing so. I considered it to be fair enough, both for me and for them. Only
for one did I break my "iron" rule and met my guest several times, because I just could
not say no to her.

Stella

How can one understand or explain that which he never heard or knew? But
people do it constantly, without thinking that maybe they are wrong or others quite
simply do not need their opinion or explanation... I still remember my only intent to
tell a "clever man" about a charming girl with a lucid name Stella. From his "bird’s
eye view", he very indulgently began to explain to me what I had "truly" felt and
what had "really" happened....
It was an amazing story and I was eager to share it with somebody for the first
time, but after this unprecedented in its foolishness case, I never repeated a similar
error and shared my thoughts or adventures with anybody, except my father,
which happened a bit later. Then I firmly decided that I would never again allow
someone to wound my soul, which I usually held "unbuttoned" for all who might

need it, so badly and which now got a deep crack in it, because a quite dull-witted
person senselessly wanted to make a brilliant display of his "knowledge" in front
of a naive nine- year-old child.
The most shocking detail here was that this person was a "well-educated"
university professor who was invited to our school to carry out a meeting and I thought
that he would be the one who understood everything correctly, like it should be.
But as it appeared, a graduate degree could not always give a real level of
understanding, not to mention his stale and indifferent soul. Like one magnificent

Back to content

73